Today marks an historic moment for me as a mother. After much vacillating, I agreed to let my boys ride their scooters to school. Without me trailing behind (which is not to say I have a scooter, mind you). We're in the city now and it's not like our old town, where I could see the school from my kitchen window. So I reluctantly sent them on their way. And being the paranoid mother that I am, I gave it about 2 minutes before I decided I needed to check on them, slyly of course. Do you know how hard it is to be covert in a suburban? Not so much! Fortunately, they weren't embarrassed. They just waved to me with "See, told you we'd be okay" smiles. They're growing up, despite all my efforts to prevent it.
My subjugation to the superwoman myth began in 1991 when I started my career in nuclear power as a young engineer. I met my Prince Charming and in 1994 became his wife. A few years later we had two sons, who are now ages 12 and 10. I work full time in the nuclear industry...and I chase the dream of finding balance one day!
Entropy is a concept in physics and thermodynamics that is essentially the measure of randomness and disorder within a system. Any state of order is actually a state of unequal distribution, and is virtually certain to randomize as time passes. As an isolated system tends towards equilibrium, entropy increases; thus, it is the tendency of a system to move from a less probable (ordered) to a more probable (less ordered) state. As the amount of entropy in a system increases, the amount of free energy in that system decreases.
As I contemplated the elusiveness of the specter of equilibrium in my world (i.e., balancing family, work, friends, etc.), it suddenly occurred to me that entropy is not just the second law of thermodynamics, but the algorithm that mathematically explains the chaos of a working mother's life. The more you work for equilibrium, the greater randomness and disorder become. You don't have to understand physics or thermodynamics--you just have to be a mom to get it.
And so begins my entry into blogworld. Somewhere to place those random entropic thoughts of mine, as I try to make sense of my chaotic existence. And yet, despite it all, there is a divine plan for my very being. I've chosen a path, not really knowing where it will take me, but trusting that God will show me the way. (October 26, 2008)